What I Learned From Being a Nanny

Young women have the opportunity to be welcomed into a family's home on date nights, we call them babysitters but when you are with a family seven days a week more than just your title changes. You become a part of their family, you influence them and they influence you. Its a beautiful harmony that is built and over the past four years I have learned so much from the families I have worked for.

First, balance is everything. Yes balancing the parents, the kids, pets and all of the expectations of meals, getting the kids to their activities, and running any errands that need to be completed can be overwhelming at times.  But a nanny learns the art of when to be seen, when to be heard, when to discipline and when to set boundaries. One of my recent mom bosses said it best, "the balancing act of being a nanny might be the most difficult thing in the world and not everyone can manage it". That's the truth people, not everyone is cut out to be a nanny but those are able to learn the balancing act gain so much knowledge of what it takes to raise a family. I do so much more than just cook, clean, and run the kids to their activities, I am another shaping voice in these kids lives for however short time I get to spend with them. The same goes for these families, they are shaping me each day I spend with them, they are shaping my ideas of what it means to be parents of children in a technological age. 

Second, there is a difference between equal and fair. All of the families I have worked for have at least two children and none of the children were close to the same. What I learned from each of these sets of parents is the difference between treating their children equally and treating their children fairly. My dad is one of eight and my mom one of four, when asked about how they were raised they always complain about how they weren't treated equally and I always thought, "how unfair!" But really those are two different things. When children are raised equally, that is not fair at all. Children that are raised equally receive the same type of attention, the same type of love, the same type of encouragement and the same type of discipline. Although what I have learned is that, this method is not always ideal. No two children are the same and so why would you raise them equally. A family who chooses to raise their children fairly understand that each child needs different things, they need to be loved differently, disciplined differently and encouraged differently.

For example: a family of three children; two girls and one boy. The boy is the youngest, he loves sports and asking endless amounts of questions. He values conversation and discussions above all else. The middle daughter, not sporty, not artistic wants to be loved in a totally different way. She likes to play games and enjoys spending time laughing and imagining a world of American Girl doll tea parties. Sit with her for an hour and you will be her new best friend. The oldest, a natural performer, values verbal affirmation of her talents. Allow her to perform for you and tell her how wonderful she is and she will be elated the rest of the day. They need to be loved in their own way and same goes for discipline. The youngest boy needs to be left alone with his own thoughts and questions, quiet is his worst enemy; five minutes of timeout will do the trick. The middle daughter needs toys and tangible things taken away. The oldest, a social butterfly, needs to be removed from social situations. They are all so different yet they are treated fairly.

Third, family dynamics are complicated but beautiful. I have worked for four different families and none of them are even remotely close to being the same. The parents didn't have the same jobs, or make the same amount of money, the kids didn't play the same sports, and they didn't have the same family dynamics but there were some very important things that they did have in common they all fought, they all complained about in-laws, they all laughed, and they all loved each other deeply. No two families function the same way, no two parents discipline the same way and no one family is more beautiful than another. 

I love my job and the families I get to become a part of, I wouldn't trade my time with "my" kids for the world!