Life as a Young Coach

Last year about this time, I was asked by my high school's dance team coach to replace her, I was not expecting that only weeks after moving home I would be accepting a coaching job at my Alma Mater. After four years of my heart yearning to be back in the dance world this door opened and I thought I knew all the hardships it would entail but boy was I wrong.

It was a year of learning, adjusting and many many emails. Which brings me to the first thing I learned through out my first year: Facebook chat and text messages are not the preferred style of communication. Phone calls and emails are the most responsible way for a young coach to communicate. Emails can have your supervisor copied, which in my case ended up being a lifesaver! Phones calls are the most efficient way to communicate, a ten minute conversation can last 10+ emails, text messages or Facebook chat messages. Lesson learned: at meet the team night, specifically say there is no other way for parents to communicate with you except through email or phone calls.

I have always been the youngest in my group of friends, on teams, in my classes so overcoming an age difference had never seemed to phase me. Although I never knew how much I would have to fight to earn the approval of the moms of my dancers. Age is a funny thing because majority of people assume many things based on a person's age. But age does not merit ability nor does it explain maturity. I found through out this year that I was definitely not fully equipped to coach, I was thankful for the ability to recognize that but also for the support and mentors I was surrounded by during those times when I was unsure of what to do.

We are all guilty of it, we all have expectations that are unspoken when we meet someone new. So I know when the parents met me for the first time they were nervous, they had expectations of me that they did not even realize until halfway through the year. I also had expectations for the parents that I had not expressed from the beginning, which was a mistake and I wish I would have expressed them earlier. What I learned this year is that unspoken expectations are dangerous to a working relationship. After this past season came to a close I wrote down a list of expectations I have for my dancers, their parents, my role and what I thought the parents had expected of me last year just so that I could discuss them with my new team. Lesson Learned: expectations are a good thing, they help keep people accountable but when they are not discussed they can blindside someone.

A life motto I have clung to for many years is "quality over quantity" and that has continued to permeate into this area of my life. This team has always been run on the basis of making young women into successful team players and I had hoped to continue that on during my first year as a head coach. During this past year we had four member leave our teams for a myriad of reasons and each one I took as a small lesson. I tried not to take them personally but I also always had in the back of my head on repeat, "quality over quantity". I was constantly trying to remind myself I wasn't the number of girls that were on the team but the quality of young women.

As I look back on the first year I realized much of what I learned through being a coach probably could not be learned in school. Although as my first year came to a close I found myself excited and looking forward to the next year, I was not bitter towards my first year of coaching, I was proud and not just at how I handled conflict but of the resilience of my team. Many of these girls were first time members just as I was a first year coach and we learned what we expected of each other through the year. As I sit here on the eve of another first, running try-outs, I am nervous but I am more excited because I have learned so much through my first year and I cannot wait to meet my new team!

Choose to be happy!