Life as a Worry Wart

Now as a girl, an only child from a split parent household who was the oldest granddaughter on my dad's side of the family, a type-A personality I worry a lot and about everything.


I worry about...
- What I will do this weekend
- If I'm making enough money
- If my friends actually like me or just pity me
- If I my hair looks good
- If I am funny
- If I am making good grades
- If I am being an effective counselor
- If my parents are proud of me
- If I could do more with my church
- If I could do more as a coach
- If I could make more time for work
- If I will ever find my husband
- If I am eating healthy enough
- If I am forgetting to be somewhere or to do something
- If I could do more...
IF IF IF... SO MANY IF's


The root of worry comes from the struggle of not being able to control everything, everyone and every circumstance that you may find yourself in. So really control freaks and worry warts are two peas in the same very stressed out pod.


Recently, I have become a fan of reading blogs, seeing other's thought processes and I came across one that discussed things that children of divorce bring into their twenties. This caught my eye, I'm always interested to see how I fit stereotypes and this one had my number. While I was reading this and thinking, "Yes.. Yep... Absolutely". I also found myself thinking, "I'm not alone.... There are others who feel this way" and for the first time in a while I wasn't so worried about how different I was.


Then on Sunday, at church, God really showed his sense of humor when the topic was worry. I realized that if we were talking about worry and anxiety at church then it was completely normal to be experiencing these feelings. Though these feelings have become normalized, I have also come to realize that it does not make them helpful to have. In the book of Matthew, Jesus asks his disciples a question, "does worry add anything to your life?" (HSV, Hauck Standardized Version). Obviously the answer is yes, it adds stress, it adds fear, it adds more what if's and less peaceful sleep. Worry adds a lot of things, but none of them add positive or helpful things to my life.


In Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers, one of the characters Miriam struggles with worry. She explained that when she can't stop thinking about something she knows she is supposed to give it over to God. We have all been taught that and that is exactly what Trevor taught on Sunday but it's one of those things, easier said than done. But Miriam had a solution that I just loved and have been practicing lately, write it down, date it and put it out of sight. Miriam put them on slips of paper in a box, I put them in organized lists based on subject in a journal (yes, very type-A of me, but hey whatever works right?). I cannot begin to explain the lightness that I have felt, my mind doesn't wander (as much) before I fall asleep. Each day I pray about the different subjects (Johnson Family, Mason Family, UC Family, Blood Family, MY Future Family, and Myself)and I love it. A wise friend of mine gave me the book The Heart of a Woman Who Prays which lays out this format for organizing and seeing how God works through our prayers over time.


Miriam, my wise friend, this book and recently, seemingly everyone else around me have taught me the importance of letting my worry be in God's hands and not my own. It's a continued process and I'm just learning it but goodness I have found such importance in it, which is why I wanted to share. God is teaching me that he has not only the ability to listen but the ability to give peace (John 14:27).


"If we prayed as much as we worried we'd have a lot less to worry about. Give God your worries." - Rick Warren