Life as an Only Child
Stereotypes of an only child, go.
- Selfish
- Spoiled
- Attention Seeking
- Imaginative
- Bossy
When you are an only child you don't realize how different you really are until someone points it out to you. Now many people would describe only child as spoiled and attention seekers but there is more to us than that. Only children are also independent, self-sufficient and to some extent isolated. Some people prefer to be alone but only children are forced to like it. As a child I played and spent much of my time alone. As a young adult I realize that I need that alone time to recharge.
Only children don't understand fighting with siblings or the excitement of having a built in playmate growing up. They do understand that family vacations are just you and your parents kicking it, being a constant third wheel or constant center of everything (which can be exhausting folks). Only children don't understand what it's like to have a built in best friend that when things get tough you have someone right next door to process what's going on. Only children are left alone with their thoughts. Only children don't have the luxury of blaming their siblings for anything that breaks or goes wrong. Who are they going to blame it on? The dog? It doesn't work... I've tried... More than once. All of that to say, only children have a very unique way of looking at the world around them.
Recently I found out some startling new via social media and I was less upset about the news than I was about how I found out the news. I was upset that my friends hadn't given me a heads up. My expectations weren't the same as theirs and this led to many tough conversations. One conversation that brought light to the situation was with my mom. At one point she said, "Allie you put your friends above everything and everyone else". When she said this I wasn't surprised but my instant reaction of, "Well of course". Although I didn't realize that this isn't true with everyone. In my world, close friends are family and that comes with some high expectations. Expectations I didn't realize I had until this conversation with my mom at the age of 22.
What I learned from this conversation though is that my friends probably didn't even realize how much they meant to me and what my expectations were. Through this I was able to communicate, although probably not well, how I felt and what I expected. When you see your close friends as family you expect that when (yes, when) you fight that all will be forgiven, you'll hug and make-up because you still love them no matter what went down. You expect that tough conversations will arise, sometimes that means confrontation and hurt feelings. You expect that day or night they will be there and that no matter the distance your friendship will remain in tact. I am so thankful for the people in my life who have become a part of my chosen family. I love them dearly and I could not have made it this far without their support, love and constant reminders of how Christ wants us to be in community. There is still so much left to learn!
Proverbs 11:14 Where there is no guidance, a people fall, but in an abundance of counselors (and friends) there is safety.
Recently I found out some startling new via social media and I was less upset about the news than I was about how I found out the news. I was upset that my friends hadn't given me a heads up. My expectations weren't the same as theirs and this led to many tough conversations. One conversation that brought light to the situation was with my mom. At one point she said, "Allie you put your friends above everything and everyone else". When she said this I wasn't surprised but my instant reaction of, "Well of course". Although I didn't realize that this isn't true with everyone. In my world, close friends are family and that comes with some high expectations. Expectations I didn't realize I had until this conversation with my mom at the age of 22.
What I learned from this conversation though is that my friends probably didn't even realize how much they meant to me and what my expectations were. Through this I was able to communicate, although probably not well, how I felt and what I expected. When you see your close friends as family you expect that when (yes, when) you fight that all will be forgiven, you'll hug and make-up because you still love them no matter what went down. You expect that tough conversations will arise, sometimes that means confrontation and hurt feelings. You expect that day or night they will be there and that no matter the distance your friendship will remain in tact. I am so thankful for the people in my life who have become a part of my chosen family. I love them dearly and I could not have made it this far without their support, love and constant reminders of how Christ wants us to be in community. There is still so much left to learn!
Proverbs 11:14 Where there is no guidance, a people fall, but in an abundance of counselors (and friends) there is safety.
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